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'It was almost as if someone was handing Grindr to me on a silver platter. Nearly two decades later, after Simkhai had finished a degree in international relations and economics and worked for some years in finance, Apple launched its second-generation iPhone. 'Yes! Very much so! And every gay man who asks himself that question also thinks: 'Wouldn't it be good if there was some way for me to tell? Some way for me to know?' Every gay man has had the idea for Grindr.'

You are somewhere and it's: 'Who else here, right now, is gay? Who?' You are looking around, you are constantly wondering. I think every gay man starts asking it, from the moment he realises he's gay. And that was a huge help to me in terms of meeting people - people who unfortunately were a ways away in Wyoming or wherever - but still, I was meeting people who were gay and who weren't freaks.'Д«ut Simkhai says he still felt isolated as a gay teenager. He came out in his mid-teens 'just as AOL was taking off. Simkhai was born in Tel Aviv and he and his parents moved to New York ('state, not the city') when he was three. 'London is the third biggest city after New York and LA. 'The UK is the second biggest country for Grindr after the US,' he tells me. He's a wiry, neatly handsome 33-year-old man with an American accent, a hectic manner and a sharp business edge. 'Oh, at the very latest,' says Joel Simkhai, the founder of Grindr. It is likely that the Grindr experience will be open to a straight market by the end of 2010. So Grindr would matter even if it were not in the process of developing a straight version of its sexy self.

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For example, Grindr's biggest boost occurred in June 2009, after gay icon Stephen Fry told the boorishly straight Jeremy Clarkson all about it during an interview on super-hetero TV show Top Gear. Gay culture and straight culture are increasingly intertwined. The divide between gay and straight worlds diminishes daily. Either way, it matters.ДЄrguably we are living in a post-gay era. Depending on who you talk to, this is either brilliant (liberating, socially enabling - the end, even, of loneliness and boredom), or a potential disaster (signalling the end of monogamy, facilitating sex addiction). It marks a major evolution in how all of us - gay, straight, alive - will meet and interact with each other.

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Two thousand people download it every day, and a BlackBerry-friendly version of the app was launched less than a month ago - a development that could triple Grindr's reach.Д«ut Grindr is more significant even than that suggests. Maybe more.'ДЄnd it's only going to get bigger. 'I've probably had as much in the past eight months of Grinding as I have over the 20 years since I came out.

'I've never, ever had so much sex in my life!' R told me gleefully. Grindr was launched on Manow more than 700,000 (and counting) men in 162 countries are using it to phenomenal effect, if J, W, Kevin and the other gay men I've asked are any kind of a guide.

Everyone else asked to remain anonymous). Partly because it is sex in an app, the sexual equivalent of ordering take-away, or online fashion (my friend Kevin calls it '', and he's so pleased with himself for this he says I can use his real name. Grindr is reconfiguring the landscape of human relationships.

I scrolled on and on through the grid of gay offerings, furtively trying to match the pixelated images with the real-life men ranged around me in the bar. I was reminded of the first time I entered words into the search criteria on Google, of the first time I downloaded music from iTunes - I knew I was engaging with a bit of technology that would alter things on a profound level. It is literally a sexy app and the overflow of that sexual potency, the decadence, sweeps you along on a wave of lust, regardless of who you are and what your gender or sexual orientation might be. All these men, effectively coming on to - well, not me, but still. J launched the app on his iPhone and I got palpitations as the grid of portraits (ordered in terms of geographical proximity - your nearest Grindr user is posted at the top left) instantly unfurled itself across the screen. I was first introduced to it on the roof terrace of a bar in east London by my friends J and W. It shows you - on a gridded display - who these men are and what they look like it will tell you how far away from you they are standing and it will allow you to 'chat' them, if they take your fancy.

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Grindr (pronounced 'grinder') is a free downloadable iPhone app which, it promises, will help you 'Find gay, bi, curious guys for free near you!' Grindr harnesses GPS, allowing you to establish who else in your direct vicinity is also using Grindr. EVER heard of Grindr? If you have, I'm going to guess that you are male and gay or male, technically straight and somewhat curious or the straight friend of a gay man.

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